Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Still

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ginawa ko iyon. Out of the blue, tinext ko siya.

“Hey, kumusta? Ano nang balita sa’yo?”

“Who’s this?” Medyo na-offend ako sa reply niya. Ibig sabihin, binura niya na ako sa phonebook niya.

But I decided to pursue and play along. “Ang ex mo na mahal mo pa rin hanggang ngayon.”

Akala ko hindi na siya sasagot pero pagkaraan ng ilang sandali, muling tumunog ang cellphone ko. “Aris?”

Nagulat ako. “How did you know it was me?”

“Ikaw lang naman ang ex ko na may feelings pa ako hanggang ngayon.”

Parang haplos iyon sa aking puso. Parang bigla akong natuwa.

“Bakit mo dinelete ang number ko?” ang sumbat ko.

“Para makalimutan na kita kasi may BF na ako,” ang sagot.

Ouch.

“Pero lagi pa rin kitang naaalala,” ang dugtong.

Talaga?

“Lapit na birthday mo ah,” ang sabi niya.

Gulat uli ako. “You still remember?”

“Sabi ko nga, lagi pa rin kitang naaalala. Hindi ko nakakalimutan ang mga importanteng araw na may kinalaman sa’yo. Pati nga anniversary natin, alam ko pa rin.”

Muli kong napatunayan ang kakaibang epekto niya sa akin. Nagagawa niya pa rin akong papaghinain sa konting salita lang.

“Ano’ng regalo mo sa kin?” ang tanong ko.

“Hugs and kisses, gusto mo?” ang sagot niya.

“Magagalit ang BF mo.”

“I want to see you.”

“Hindi na dapat.”

“I miss you. Nami-miss mo rin ba ako?”

Hindi ako sumagot.

“I still love you.”

Nanatili akong tahimik.

“Mahal mo pa rin ba ako?”

Pigil na pigil akong aminin ang tunay na damdamin ko.

“Magkita tayo sa birthday mo. I-celebrate natin iyon nang magkasama. Katulad nang dati. Kunwari tayo pa rin.”

Nagbara ang lalamunan ko. Pumarada sa isip ko ang masasaya naming alaala.

“Aris, I still want to make you happy. Kahit paminsan-minsan lang.”

Nanlabo ang mga mata ko kasabay ng panlalabo ng reasoning ko.

Tuluyan na akong bumigay. “Okay. Sige, magkita tayo.”

Alam kong mali. Pero siguro naman, maaari pa rin naming balikan ang aming nakaraan para sumaya naman ako.

Kahit panandalian lang.

20 comments:

Mark Joefer said...

Mali...mali...mali!!!!





Masarap....


ang....

MALI!!!!

Kaya go lang!LOL

soltero said...

damn...di kaya lalo kang masaktan after na magkita kayo ulit???

DSM said...

i find it scary to meet up with someone I still have feelings for, i get confused easily kasi. the past pa naman is a seductive addiction na masarap balikan.

canonista said...

There's a fine line between becoming happy and doing what is right. It is up to you what you will follow, in the end, it is your happiness that matters.

I have two songs for you...

"Gotten by Slash" and Adam Levine

"Lips of an Angel" by Hinder

I know you will be able to relate to those songs. Give them a listen.

Désolé Boy said...

what the heck? are there rules for love now?
.
.
where?
.
.
but take care of yourself...

Kane said...

Aris!!!!! Ikaw talaga, makukurot na naman kita!

Ang hilig hilig mo sa mga ganyan; sa mga "puede na ito, kesa sa wala", sa mga exes!!!!

Umayos ka! I'm kidding =)

Huy, haven't seen you in ages.

Kane

john stanley said...

hay, aris. i am crossing my fingers that this meet-up will do more good for the both of you.

for him, this may be the closure that he needed to really move on.

and for you to realize, as kane pointed out, na hindi pwede ang pwede na.

hugs, friend.

Nicos said...

just be careful. Your ex is already committed na...hugs!

kaloy said...

i'm pretty sure the meet up is not going to be the last... are you certain you want to do this to yourself? to the ex? to the ex's bf? kasi from my vantage point, ikaw ang may powers dito over the ex - act well aris... but anyhoo - the decision is yours to make. c:

Ex Jason said...

so wrong. so right. so wrong.

Ms. Chuniverse said...

SYEEETTTTT!!!!! Pumayag ka!!!! Pumayag kaaaaa!!! Hay nagpa-palpitate ako.

Hokaya naman... IPADALA mo ko!

PROXY ba 'teh.

Hahaha!

wanderingcommuter said...

so wrong but it feels so right... hehehe

VICTOR said...

Just think that you only said yes because you were being polite. ;)

toffer said...

nakaka excite naman...:)))


masarap ang bawal..

PILYO said...

TAMA yan ! (kahit mali)
MALI (kahit tama)kung di mo pagbibigyan ang sarili mo.


kay sarap lasapin ng tama at mali, hahahaha. Kakikilig naman, naaalala ko tuloy si "toooooot".

dhenxo said...

Tama si wanderingcommuter..

So wrong but it feels right. Eh kasi naman kung hindi bakit my mga eksena pang I still Love You. LOL. Ex db? ahahah...

The Golden Man from Manila said...

makes me wonder how our world can be so forgiving.

but then, who can we blame? The sparks are always there, even in inappropriate circumstances but the reality is the opposite and though we do not like to say it, it really hurts. but accepted.

ako - the past is past. Never to be rekindled in any kind. forever.

pishnge said...

,, bloghopped po!:)

kalurki ung tugtog.. ALWAYS lalala.
watatata.. totoo ata ang kasabihan na masarap ang BAWAL??

visit my blog: www.pishnge.blogspot.com

heke... XD

Al said...

Naalala ko tulog quote na till now nasa Inbox ng phone ko:

d love u can't have..
lasts the longest..
feels the strongest..
and hurts d most.

Very true..

C.C. said...

dahil existentialist ako, GO LANG. bakit natin pinipigilan ating sarili sa kung saan tayo matutuwa diba? live for the moment. we're all too young to die.

to love and win is the best.
to love and lose is the second best.